First Blog - the 'Black Dog'

I have been diagnosed with depression for 5 years now (since 1999) and I am currently facing the tail end of my second depressive episode, this time of 18+ months. Depression has stolen much of my life recently: my career, my income, my car, and the normality of life I was once acquainted with. It is not all doom in my story though as I have been able to maintain a reasonably stable marriage and take on much of the primary care of my two year old daughter (although depression has robbed too much of this as well).

After five years I am finally beginning to understand the subtleties of my depression. The anger, frustration, and grief, while not gone, are no longer as overwhelming as they once were and there is room now for greater exploration of emotions and solutions to my situation. I have rallied a committed team of family, friends, and professionals to support me as well. But for all the support of my 'team' and for all the management of my emotional state there is no substitute for the will and desire to overcome this insidious disease. There is usually a daily battle with the demons of depression that in many ways define you as a person. Those experienced with this illness will understand how near to impossible it can be to ward off these demons, or the 'black dog' as Churchill explained it - when facing an acute episode/relapse of depression. But I live and learn .... and now blog it.

This blog is my story with the black dog. Please feel free to comment on any of the posts. While it is my habit to write more often when I am too unwell to do anything else (except perhaps read) I hope to post successes and meaningful experiences as they eventuate as well. And, dare I dream, even to blog the path the leads me out of the depression wilderness.