The mystery of change
Although its late for me (ie. after midnight) the most rapid reversal yet to occur with my depression has taken place. Two days ago I couldn't sleep and couldn't get out to collect the mail. Last night I had the first decent night's sleep (in about a month) and earlier today I managed a project, negotiated a settlement of terms to a financial situation (on behalf of a friend travelling overseas), undertook some home duties, nursed a sick 3yr old daughter, and caught up with a good friend in the evening! Easy!
How things change. Whilst I have had hypo-manic reactions in the past (ie. manic symptoms) this was not it. It was a rapid return to normality.
I know in general my health is on the mend - my energy and mood is evening out. But I still suffer.
I don't care why anymore. I don't care how anymore. I'm not angry and bitter about the world or God or the universe anymore. I don't regret or grieve for my life anymore. I don't even care to reconcile the daily/weekly/monthly changes in my health anymore. I am simply living my life to the fullest that my health will let me - warts and all. No regrets.
How things change. Whilst I have had hypo-manic reactions in the past (ie. manic symptoms) this was not it. It was a rapid return to normality.
I know in general my health is on the mend - my energy and mood is evening out. But I still suffer.
I don't care why anymore. I don't care how anymore. I'm not angry and bitter about the world or God or the universe anymore. I don't regret or grieve for my life anymore. I don't even care to reconcile the daily/weekly/monthly changes in my health anymore. I am simply living my life to the fullest that my health will let me - warts and all. No regrets.
posted by Blackdog at 12:37 AM
6 Comments:
Congratz!
Live like the best way you possibly can.
There's little we can do about circumstance sometimes, but a lot we could do about attitude.
I'm chuffed u bounced back.
thanks for this wise post - it helps me,
take care
B
Hi! I am a friend of a friend. I read some of your blog and wanted to comment in the hope that it may contribute to your journey in some way.
I had suffered with depression for years. These are some of my learnings in overcoming it:
* When I became really determined and certain I want to end depression, I found a way.
* Depression is not something that happens to me - it something I create through my mental and emotional habits.
* I can change these habits
* I can change how I feel in a heartbeat if I want to.
* Identify and deal with limiting beliefs.
* Get some perspecitve about my life - experience the 3rd world, do something for someone else, think about what I can contribute to others less fortunate than myself.
* Notice what I'm doing when life is flowing and full of energy for me. Do that.
* Accept myself without having to perform - I am okay!
* Keep doing the things that help me balance my life - exercise, diet, water, time with friends and family, time with God, connecting with and looking after myself
I have found Tony Robbins materials really really helpful in giving me tools in this journey.
Keep searching - you only have to live with this as long as you want to.
very nice posts! It helps a lot to all readers:D
Nice article, thanks for the information.
I think you are on the right way - on the way oа healing
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