Thursday, January 20, 2005

New Year Update

Well it has been a while between posts this time round but I have just been so flat out with work and staying on top of home life that I haven't been able to get here to write. I can say the recovery is steady although it seems to have plateaued for the moment. I now need to be very careful about managing my time and involvement in things very tightly to ensure I can cope with the rigours of my now semi-rigorous life.

Helathwise I have had a mini crash for one day in the first week of the new year. This came on top of stepping up to a 20 hour a week work commitment, Christmas, a temporary move of residence to a holiday destination, and a weekend of guests over the new year period. Pretty active no question. But after that crash I bounced back quickly and had no further dramas until this last week where I had a nasty little cold/flu/virus which increased my vulnerability to the depression symptoms. So here I am after 1am doing an update! In all it has caused me to miss one day of work, miss 4-5 days of home duties, and throw my sleep out - its the depression symptoms for sure but its due to the cold making me a little more vulnerable.

The good thing has been I have been able to remain fairly upbeat despite this little setback in my health. I am getting a little frustrated with myself and not being able to fulfill my roles at home and in the work place but this is nowhere near the elevated levels I have faced in the past and I am very much at peace with myself at the same time.

I can now say more confidently that the optimism I had that the worst of my depression had passed is proving to be well founded. I am feeling this way depsite some of the setbacks along the way. From a perspective that had been quite bleak for most of 2004 I am feeling quite optimistic about 2005.

I am still bursting on the inside to have the time and energy to write about the things that I floated in my december posts but I am just unable to do that. I just can't be confident of managing my active roles in the work force and at home as well as keeping up the pace of writing that I had in the final months of 2004.

A parting thought:
Now that I have the necessary support around me (family, friends, medical, pastoral etc.) and have been able to stabilise the feeling of crisis in my life with their help I am finding more and more that I have to consciously manage my energy levels as this now seems to have the largest bearing on my well being.