A normal day (really this time)!
I have finally had a day full of activity without feeling the ill effects of it. Its great to be back (touch wood - *knocking head*). For those who care to know what a full day is it is what I would call something of a normal day if I was healthy. So, my wife was out all day and I took care of my daughter through until tea time. In that time I went and ordered prescription contact lenses, did the grocery shopping, had lunch out at McDonald with my daughter, got home and visited a local garage sale, then did gardening for a couple of hours and went out for a couple of hours in the evening. I finished it off by cooking dinner for my wife (steak and five veg). And I reckon I have done it without burning myself out or winding myself up (ie. hypomanically) - time will tell. It feels great to live normally even for one day.
I recently received some feedback from a mate regarding how bleak this blog was at times and they weren't at all happy. They pointed out that there was hope even in the despair of depression and I should write about that too. Well Rosie - I hope you enjoyed this entry.
I suppose others may feel the same way too so I want to answer the point. While I do wish to show off and celebrate the successes within my battle against depression, and I have done so at every opportunity thus far, I equally wish to communicate the experience of being depressed and the impact it has had on my life and, more importantly, my soul. I feel that this is what I didn't (and perhaps couldn't) understand when I first came down with depression and it was this that impacted me as much as the illness itself. The truth is I barely understood it well at the beginning of the second episode either and so suffered from the illness and in my soul. The point in writing my blog in the way I do (and I do it the way it is on purpose) is to explore and reflect on the impact that depression has had on my life, and my soul, and to perhaps fill a part of the void that others may have in coming to terms with their own depression. As far as I could find out, when it mattered most, there was no resource that directly addressed this for me - or for my loved ones who suffered along with me and perhaps suffered even as much as I did.
If this blog can help me understand better what I've been through it will have served its purpose well enough. If it can help others also to understand their own or their loved ones response to depression then it will have done everything I could have hoped for. Along the way it will look directly at some of the symptoms of depression that I have faced and put that in the context of my life - including the times of hope. But I want most of all for people who read this to understand the deeper impact of depression on my life and my soul - things like enforced unemployment, relationship strain, not getting out of bed, boredom, grief, humiliation, despair, anger, frustration, hate.
As a person I don't particularly like being bleak as it is against my nature. But it is a reality that things can get quite bleak when your world is turned upside down by depression. And it is not only the illness that a depressed person and their family has to deal with it is equally the dramatic effects on lifestyle and it is also the severest of battles to remain in control of your own soul. My experience with depression is that you have to know exactly what you're fighting to fight it well and it is with this in mind I write as I do.
I recently received some feedback from a mate regarding how bleak this blog was at times and they weren't at all happy. They pointed out that there was hope even in the despair of depression and I should write about that too. Well Rosie - I hope you enjoyed this entry.
I suppose others may feel the same way too so I want to answer the point. While I do wish to show off and celebrate the successes within my battle against depression, and I have done so at every opportunity thus far, I equally wish to communicate the experience of being depressed and the impact it has had on my life and, more importantly, my soul. I feel that this is what I didn't (and perhaps couldn't) understand when I first came down with depression and it was this that impacted me as much as the illness itself. The truth is I barely understood it well at the beginning of the second episode either and so suffered from the illness and in my soul. The point in writing my blog in the way I do (and I do it the way it is on purpose) is to explore and reflect on the impact that depression has had on my life, and my soul, and to perhaps fill a part of the void that others may have in coming to terms with their own depression. As far as I could find out, when it mattered most, there was no resource that directly addressed this for me - or for my loved ones who suffered along with me and perhaps suffered even as much as I did.
If this blog can help me understand better what I've been through it will have served its purpose well enough. If it can help others also to understand their own or their loved ones response to depression then it will have done everything I could have hoped for. Along the way it will look directly at some of the symptoms of depression that I have faced and put that in the context of my life - including the times of hope. But I want most of all for people who read this to understand the deeper impact of depression on my life and my soul - things like enforced unemployment, relationship strain, not getting out of bed, boredom, grief, humiliation, despair, anger, frustration, hate.
As a person I don't particularly like being bleak as it is against my nature. But it is a reality that things can get quite bleak when your world is turned upside down by depression. And it is not only the illness that a depressed person and their family has to deal with it is equally the dramatic effects on lifestyle and it is also the severest of battles to remain in control of your own soul. My experience with depression is that you have to know exactly what you're fighting to fight it well and it is with this in mind I write as I do.
posted by Blackdog at 11:08 PM
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